Boys bedroom toy storage…
After Photo
Before Photo
“He likes to keep all of this but I don’t think he even knows what’s here anymore!” ~ Mum before session.
“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of what stuff we moved to where, so I just observed…and he didn’t really seem to notice much was missing. He was just drawn to play with the stuff he could actually access. Mission accomplished!” ~ Mum after her son had returned to his room.
Good things come to those who wait, and this beautiful Mum has waited and been so patient with her son. To begin with, she has lead through example, which I always recommend. Prior to entering the children’s areas, we did many sessions in the home, many family discussions were had and the parents spoke positively about the benefits of having refreshed and functional spaces in the home.
Mum allowed him to join in the decluttering journey in his room once to begin with and we made significant progress! That session was really focused on removing the excess, learning some lessons around our belonging needing to fit into the space we have available (something so many adults, let alone children, are still working on) and several months passed in between these two sessions.
This time, she chose to tackle it without him there. Our plan was to keep out only the most loved and used toys…and simply store the items she removed out of sight, in case he decided that something special was missing. I call this a “quarantine system” (although shhh…everyone dislikes that word post-Covid). The key with this is to:
Ensure items are stored in an area the child rarely accesses.
Items need to be put into opaque bags or tubs to prevent them being seen. Usually a child will want it if you ask them can you get rid of it, they will also want it if they can see it, but if they don’t see it, it generally doesn’t phase them.
To honour this system and your desire to not throw away things your child loves, if they do ask for an item, you can let them know you’ll search for it and find it for them. Bring back that item and only that, don’t bring back everything!
You will find that they fall into one of two categories; firstly, they may not notice anything missing, nor ask for anything back, secondly, they may ask for a few items back and know there has been a change but not be too phased by it.
If you know your child is likely to be quite bothered by the whole room being changed, you can do this in small steps, one drawer or one cube at a time to allow them emotional breathing space and time to process what is happening.
Remember that children are allowed to feel upset with the decisions that are made, it is how we support them through these feelings with empathy, understanding and acceptance, that really matters.
So with our process pinned down, we got to work. Mum was keen to have just one toy in each cube & have things visible so he could see what was available. As with most children, if they cannot see it, it disappears, so it’s a delicate balance of reducing visual overwhelm, whilst keeping their things visible to them so that they can find and enjoy them too.
The questions we used to work out what stayed in the room and what went into quarantine were:
Is the toy broken or missing pieces required to play with it? - If so it goes to the recycling or the bin.
Is the toy developmentally appropriate for the child in their current phase? My early childhood background can be helpful in working this one out.
Does the toy have sentimental value for the child and or the parent? Some of these can go into memory boxes.
Does this toy get used often?
Which toys would my child reach for first? A great tip here - it’s usually the ones all over the house or their floor, not the ones still on the shelf.
Have we borrowed this toy from someone? It’s a great time to give it back or pass it onto another family.
How many of this toy do we have? Soft toys in particular build up very quickly and can be hard to pair back.
Is this toy similar to another set we have?
Can this toy be used in multiple ways or just one way? Open ended toys that can be used in more than one way are able to be used for longer and entertain your child in multiple ways. Gimmick toys or promotional stuff such as McDonalds toys can go.
Do I as a parent actually like this toy, or does it cause friction between my child and I? I always encourage parents not to keep toys that cause friction in the home. Yup - you can let that ridiculously huge noisy truck, or the recorder go!
Is this toy well made and long lasting?
Is it special enough to keep for another child? Keep in mind that your second, third, fourth child etc will be gifted a lot of their own toys from birth. Every Christmas, birthday or visit from a relative will bring its own influx of toys for this child. So it is important to only keep the very significant toys to pass down between children.
Everything else went into dated storage tubs in the garage. If he hasn’t asked for any of these toys or they haven’t been pulled out for rotation in 6-12 months, they will leave the house. The remaining toys that were broken or for donation left with me or went into their bin in an opaque bag.
It can feel overwhelming and very hard to make these choices for your child, sometimes even knowing they may be upset by the decisions. But this Mum had been waiting to see if her son came around to the idea and he simply wasn’t, to add to this, he really didn’t even know what he had in his room anymore as it was so full. By taking the quarantine approach, Mum could then tell if he was really missing items or not before getting rid of them. A few months later when he hadn’t asked for anything, we donated most and created a small toy rotation system in his closet for the toys that stayed.
Are you met with resistance when decluttering your children’s rooms?
Would you benefit from the help of a professional organiser and declutter coach?
Get in touch so that we can work on a plan for your family.
